Okay so I attended Spectrum Fantastic Art Live now a couple weeks ago, took a week to visit family and just now getting back. It was my second time going and a bit of a different experience than last time.
The first time it was two years ago it was such a small event I managed to hang out with Iain McCiag two days in a row, talk with everyone there and really mix in with the groups. This time it was bigger, I was at a table which was in artist alley so I was kinda in the corner of the corner since artist alley was in a separate small room off to the side. Since I manned the table alone I didn't get to meet and greet as much especially since the conversations were rushed and I am not an outgoing person. In fact I owe a great deal to Sheena Wolf and Marc Scheff for making me feel welcomed and a part of what was going on; otherwise I was literately sitting in a corner by myself. But is was good to go and experience it from that perspective.
I was on the other side of things for the first time. Unfortunately it was such a last minute decision to go, from supposed to be starting work on the 18th to not really having the finances that I had little to show for being there. That was fine since I had no where to store anything before or after anyway. I was a bit of an odd ball since I work primarily in animation now and hence haven't had time really for Illustration that wasn't a direct commission. I'd love to move over to doing card art - Magic or Legends of the Five Rings or some Star Wars stuff for Fantasy Flight but I'll keep working on that while I plug away at 20 hour days going on 3 months straight now. That week break was a nice reprieve from working so much.
One of the big things for me this brought out is over coming a lifetime of working in the shadows, literally, and moving out into the spotlight to be noticed, or any light really. I was trained in martial arts most of my life which is actually a very quiet discipline and a solo effort, hence the reason I liked it. If I failed at it I failed at it, if I did well I did well. I never had to rely on anyone else to win or lose. Follow that with time in the military working in intelligence for special groups where sometimes my own superiors didn't know what I was doing and then other quiet nameless groups after that for years where the whole idea was to not be noticed. Plus I think that a well done job should speak for itself. I shouldn't have to jump up and down shouting look at me, look at me, to get noticed for what I can or did do. Unfortunately outside those worlds it doesn't seem to work that way. It is hard for me to even want to share anything personal especially here, and so you will never see me even post a picture of what I look like or talk about my personal life on here. Not even sure if I like others posting things here about me. But I need to move into marketing myself and move away from the other worlds so for now I don't take it down. I still don't get why anyone would really want to make it that easy to get information on themselves though.
I've been told I have an interesting story. I've been told to and thought about documenting it more. As it would probably help others out in seeing what it really takes and the suffering one goes through to make something of themselves artistically, especially out in LA, and the transition from such an unlikely profession to lead into art. But for a number of reasons I just can't pull myself to post personal information about my life. And to make it worse I especially feel like I can't do it since I am still looking for a solid stable career in the industry. Maybe in the future I will tell my story or maybe I'll just pass on and leave a mystery as to what my life was. But then does any of it matter anyway?
We are living right now and moving forward in life making new beginnings everyday. My past is separate from my current life dramatically and my personal life should have no bearing on my professional life. I can do the job and that's all that should matter. Not my race, gender, or any affiliation I may have or be but simply am I smart and talented enough to do the job?
Anyway, so to all my Facebook friends and potential ones sorry if I don't post more. I do this for professional reasons only really, otherwise I hate this. I may share some philosophical and observational things here or may not. If you want to talk I am actually an open person so feel free to message me and we can chat; outside of that I probably won't be very personal here (on Facebook).
All that being said on Facebook I did start this blog to chronicle my journey in developing an IP so I will go back to publishing more here again. How personal I will make it I am still debating which is the big reason so little has been said. Since I came to LA it has been a very personal story. That aside through the animation studio I have a chance to potentially start making my IP a reality. That dark fantasy story about a Rabbit trying to reunite with his father and save his mother and homeland could be developed into an animation. The only thing is now how much of it will I be able to control and hold on to if I let it go that way? For now I will probably stick to developing it on my own know that I know more about the inner workings of animation and have a style that goes beyond apparently most western animation studios but seems fine for Anime or other detailed and subtle storied animations.
